Be a fucking model.
Fuck you guys, I always kinda wanted to be one.
I'm just too short, fat & my face doesn't capture well. aha
I'm crossing it off my list of dreams because it'll never happen.

Tell me something fun you did this summer. x

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My birthday is in 21 days & I'm not excited. I usually forget my birthday until my twin brother reminds me. I don't understand whats so special about birthdays, it's just another day.

That girl in this picture was my best friend. We no longer talk anymore & she spread a rumor about me.

This was taken only a couple months ago. Wake up.
<3

I'm a writer. Read other Z TEAM short stories on my DA. I didn't explain hat happened to her to end up there because I didn't want to give it all away. But he did save her. xxx

Here it is.

"So who are you?" The tired pinkette asked. Her savior didn't respond, but continued to rustle around in the shadows, the sound of empty bottles rattling around traveled through Rowan's ears & sent tingles down her worried spine. She began reaching for her baseball bat..Wait! Where was her bat!? Rowan stood up quickly, trying not to panic & failing miserably. The shadowy figure turned around, Rowan could barely make out any of his features, she wasn't sure she wanted to either. She could tell he was tall, much taller than her & it intimidated her, a lot. Rowan backed up as far as she could, her back now against the counter she was just sitting on. She swallowed & finally found some courage to speak, "Where the fuck is my bat?" Just then she realized she was missing her teammate. She mentally hit herself for forgetting about him until now, she continued as if she had noticed Zach was gone before now, "& where's my friend?" The shadow stepped closer to her & she shrunk down to the ground, holding onto the handles of some drawers that were still pushed inside the counter. The shadow still didn't reply & Rowan was getting worried, she rubbed her head trying to remember how she got here, wherever here was. The figure stepped closer more, Rowan could still barely make out a face. After some silence the shadow finally spoke, he breathed in heavily releasing words in a soft comforting voice, "I was cleaning it for you, I didn't want the blood to warp it." Rowan was caught off guard by his voice, it was so...sweet. She looked up, squinting to make out any face, nothing. She finally spoke back to her savior, "& my friend?" The shadow man took another breath then replied; "He's fine, he got away, actually. He's probably looking for you now." Rowan's brow furrowed & she swore she could hear her savior chuckle at that. The man began walking closer again, almost into the dim light of the lantern. Rowan was feeling intimidated again, as her savior got closer, he also got taller & it made Rowan feel defenseless, she shrunk down closer to the floor more now, a piece of glass digging into her thigh, she didn't notice too focused on the figure stepping closer. The shadow man spoke again, "Don't be scared, I'm not going to hurt you." Rowan scoffed, "I'm not some animal! Now tell me who the fuck you are & where the hell I am! & How the hell I fucking got here!" The man laughed softly again, "Dear, please calm down. I saved your life. You should thank me." Rowan remained silent. The man finally stepped into the light revealing himself to her, Rowan raised her head looking her savior up & down. She blushed lightly as her eyes met his face. He smiled at her, Rowan smiled back slightly. "Now, if you would please stand up so I can finish caring for you." Rowan remained seated, looking up dumbly. "You're head is bleeding, you're stomach is gashed & now there's a huge piece of glass in your thigh. Let me help you." He said reaching a hand out to Rowan. She looked down at her thigh & gasped hopping up with the hand offered to her. "Fuck!" she cursed & the man chuckled again. "You're just full of spunk aren't you?" Rowan flipped her savior off receiving another laugh. "Whatever, just help me the fuck out...& tell me what happened, fucking twat." The man nodded as she hopped up on the counter. He began bandaging her up, ignoring her cursing at the pain. Rowan bit her bottom lip as he pulled the glass out of her thigh, blushing as he held it firmly. She studied his hansom features, he felt her eyes on him so he looked up & caught her blushing. She noticed & blushed more, they stared at one another caught in each others gaze's. Rowan was the first to look away to which her savior continued cleaning up her cut. He spoke again, "So, I hear you're heading to the mountains.".

...

I saw Gogol Bordello & Primus last week & you didn't.
Suck my dick bitch.
I'm superior.
Anyways,
I have no friends, but I feel like I do when I listen to this music.

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My brother is on the phone with his girlfriend.
It makes me sick.
They're disgusting.
"I love you"
"Love yew back"
"Nu-uh"
"Uh huh"
"you're cute"

Just shoot me.

I'm a lonely person.

Sorta. :I
Am I beautiful now?
Am I a rebel?
Do you look at me think "Goddamn hoodlum."
Life is sweet.
Hell fucking yes.

I saw dinosaurs today & you didn't.
Suck it, bitch.

My best friend back stabbed me like a lot last night. Like as low as you can get.
Just goes to show you can't trust anyone.
At least I know I'm done with this whole trust thing.
Everyone sucks, lets drink.
x

So there's this one painting that my grandma did of my mother & her sister when they were still young adults, before I was born. & it's the two of them sitting on a couch, smoking & playing cards. But infront of them is this coffee table covered in stuff! Like a real coffee table, magazines, cards, books, pens, cups, cigarettes. But there was always one item that stuck out to me the most in the painting, this blue ash tray. When I was young I used to stare at it, just admiring the blues & how the white was applied to make it look so real! To this day I still look at that ash tray in awe, just captivated by it. Wishing I could produce the same thing, I doubt I ever will but I still love it regardless. The painting itself is also very comforting just because it's copied after a real photo so you have such a natural Harrison family vibe, my aunt & mom how I know them. I love to stare at that painting when I'm lonely, or bored or just in need of guidance. There are a few other paintings around the house that family members & college students did of my grandpa & family or just abstract, I love to stare at them for hours too. But for some reason that blue ash tray keeps calling me back. I suppose I sound crazy, but I was just looking at it earlier & felt I needed to talk about it. I think for as long as I live, that blue ash tray will be imprinted in my head, always calling me back to stare & admire it's beauty. I wish I could show you guys, so then maybe you'd understand..

Oh well...Is there something you could stare at for hours? To make you feel better, or to inspire you or just because? I'm sure I'm the only one, but who knows.

Message me, I'm feeling very talkitive & inspirational right about now. x

-Thumbs x

P.S
I miss my NeeNaw <3
He disappeared on me again & I'm in need of his accent, & I'm sure you need it too.
Check Him Out HERE
He's one of my besties & has kept me in line for a very long time ahah
Plus his flash & videos make me giggle.
He's just that sexy.
But yeah, I think you should check him out & visit his YOUTUBE Because he'll give you the jollies.
Love you man.
x